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15th July 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration


  • 06:01 Quick poll: can anyone recommend a Shoutcast radio station? Interests include OTR, hacking/technology, comedy, SF, scepticism... #

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21st June 2010

11:53pm: bobbins

Chris Sievey, better known to the world as the fantastic Frank Sidebottom, died today.

Give yourselves a treat and listen to his version of Love Will Tear Us Apart and other Mancunian anthems.

Current Mood: low

7th June 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration


  • 16:20 No tweets for more than two weeks. Not much to show for it I'm afraid. Writing's ground to a halt again. Fuck. #

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22nd May 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 02:40 I've started to translate Popeye into newspeak. Examples may follow shortly. #
  • 02:46 "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam" becomes "popeye doubleplusgoodthinkful party member". There is no verb 'to be' in newspeak. #
  • 03:00 Newspeak: "I'm strong to the finach 'cuz I eats me spinach" = "miniplenty 20% spinach ration increase makes popeye doubleplusproductful" #
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17th May 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 02:12 Can't sleep. Every joint in my legs giving me gyp. Have to be up in three hours anyway. Bollocks. #
  • 04:08 Dug out the Apostate's Almanack document: the bits of information that should help keep it consistent when it relaunches. Expanded it. #
  • 04:09 Actually writing again. Almost. Fingers crossed. #
  • 04:10 Reading about alchemy for the first time in years. Bollocks, perhaps, but fascinating bollocks. #
  • 04:28 Four brief entries to the bestiary. Quite pleased with them as they fit the world's cosmology rather neatly... #
  • 04:28 Note to self: feel like shit more often. You might actually get productive at the end of it. #
  • 04:29 Note to others: don't pester me for content just yet, though. The underside of the cow may be damp, but don't attach the milking machine... #
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7th May 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 07:55 In the absence of any meaningful results in this election, I am now declaring myself Prime Minister. BTW I am still the Pope. #
  • 07:56 "Your Holiness" or "Prime Minster" are both acceptable terms of address. #
  • 10:19 Quick question: how would you go about stealing the Houses of Parliament? #
  • 10:20 By 'stealing' I mean actually physically nicking the building to sell to the highest bidder... #
  • 10:21 Not concerned with the institution itself. They can convene in a big shed for all I care. Just want to steal the buildings... #
  • 14:43 According to the beeb, there were 556,945 BNP voters counted so far. I knew we were up to our armpits in fuckwits, but... Jesus WEPT... #
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27th April 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 00:50 Sorry for radio silence. Realised I haven't come up with a 'show bible' of sorts for the Apostate's Almanack. Must rectify. #
  • 01:27 Things I didn't know about MS Word: Its dictionary contains 'Scientology' but not 'Ásatrú'. Not a big issue as I don't subscribe to either. #
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8th April 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 20:46 Why can I never remember how to set up virtual hosts? Must be the fifth time I've looked this up... #
  • 22:54 My eyelash mites haven't been speaking lately. I fear they might be up to something. #
  • 23:02 I think I've located the part of the human brain that misses Teletext. It's quite deep in, just next to the pineal gland. #
  • 23:49 Virtual hosts set up a little easier than last time. Evidently *something* stuck, even if I can't do this from memory... #
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6th April 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 00:57 New post for the Apostate's Almanack at last: bit.ly/9g3gvn -- The End of the World. #
  • 15:45 Next item on the to-do list. Get local copies of my sites up and running again. And wonder why I've not done this earlier. #
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5th April 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration


  • 10:50 Quick poll. How would YOU bring about the end of civilisation as we know it? Points will be deducted for blowing up the planet. #

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3rd April 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration


  • 06:29 No posts in three days. Feeling a bit disorganised and unproductive. The latter because of the former, probably. Time to fix that. Again. #

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31st March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

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30th March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 13:07 Back to this Apostate's Almanack thing. Finally getting into shape. Got a voice for the character posting it. Taken entirely too long... #
  • 15:21 Posted to the Apostate's Almanack at last: bit.ly/9FJ0Oz ... how many more can I post before I have to revisit characters? #
  • 15:25 Tabi suggested writing some adverts for spurious products as an Almanack post. Could get away with it. Possibly. Must think on that. #
  • 15:27 Hrm. What sort of advert would target mostly-illiterate serfs in a fantasy setting? Wordy handbills encouraging them to learn to read? #
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28th March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 22:05 Okay. Sleeping hours: shagged. Situation: unfavourable. Tea: cold. Time to pull myself together. #
  • 00:12 Okay, writing projects: thing for Strange Aeons. Untitled Chapbook for @cussedness. Apostate's Almanack. Almanack first. #
  • 00:28 Holy shit, an idea has hit. At last. Time for a cosmological piece. #
  • 00:29 Okay, quick poll for anyone interested: what shape is the world? Already used flat/one-sided, flat/two-sided, and on the inside of a sphere. #
  • 02:35 Pouches. More pouches. As many pouches as possible. And then more pouches. #MakeBadComics #
  • 02:36 Women must ALWAYS walk on tiptoe or in heels. Remember, stilettos exist just to help their heels touch the ground. #makebadcomics #
  • 02:39 Every great graphic novel or mini-series deserves at least one sequel. Duh. #makebadcomics #
  • 02:40 Make sure the female lead's waist is as thick as her wrist. That way she'll fold up and fit neatly in the fridge. #makebadcomics #
  • 02:43 Lesbian characters = mature storytelling. Especially if they spend a whole issue, you know, Doing It. #makebadcomics #
  • 02:45 If you want a female character to be well-rounded and developed, give her one sarcastic remark per issue. #makebadcomics #
  • 02:48 If you run out of jokes, you can show how versatile you are by giving the female lead a stillbirth or miscarriage. #makebadcomics #
  • 02:59 Remember: marriages age the character. A character that gets old ceases to be relevant, like your parents. #makebadcomics #
  • 03:01 Don't be afraid of ridicule. Just say the comic was a parody and mock everyone who 'didn't get the joke'. #makebadcomics #
  • 03:02 Bare breasts: mature. Bare vaginas: daring and mature. Bare penes and testicles: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? #makebadcomics #
  • 03:17 If the hero's child isn't superpowered or at least a child prodigy, it can't be interesting. #makebadcomics #
  • 03:31 Show your erudition by namedropping Alan Moore in dialogue. "Wow, this is like some Alan Moore thing!" #makebadcomics #
  • 03:33 Show your female character's sensual side by putting her on her hands and knees, and her buttocks higher than her head. #makebadcomics #
  • 03:42 Two levels of female character development. #1: bigger breasts. #2: self-consciousness about her bigger breasts. #makebadcomics #
  • 03:43 Don't worry about the page count. There are adverts. #makebadcomics #
  • 03:48 They are the readers. You are the writer. YOU OUTRANK THEM. #makebadcomics #
  • 04:03 Nothing says bold new direction in storytelling like advertising your mommy issues by editorial fiat. #makebadcomics #
  • 04:03 If in doubt, say your comic's actually feminist. That'll help you get chicks. #makebadcomics #
  • 04:06 Show how great your "cool" new character is by retconning him into all the cast's backgrounds. #makebadcomics #
  • 04:07 Letterers? Who needs letterers? Any dick can put a word balloon in! Look! Easy! Saved myself a load of money there. #makebadcomics #
  • 04:12 Arguments are fun. Their content isn't. Replace it with 'bitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitch' and you'll get the same effect. #makebadcomics #
  • 04:37 Please ignore this post. Just disabled FB's twitter feed after flooding it with a bunch of hashtagged posts... #
  • 04:39 All heroes must have perfect teeth, even if punched in the face on a regular basis. #makebadcomics #
  • 05:04 The only sexually-transmitted disease characters get is AIDS. #makebadcomics #
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27th March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 09:21 Missed another update. Blocking. Fuck. #
  • 09:27 Okay. Let's be organised about this. 1) List items that need writing / finishing. 2) Prioritise. 3) Despair. 4) Take cyanide. #
  • 09:45 @doctortoc (late reply, sorry) Sadly Zenith collections would be a legal nightmare, what with all the characters not owned by Rebellion... #
  • 11:54 RIP John Hicklenton. bit.ly/98hVvD First saw his work in Nemesis books 7 and 9. Wonderfully demented stuff. #
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26th March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 22:45 Re-read what would have been tomorrow's post for the Almanack. Absolute rubbish that takes the reader exactly nowhere. Time to rewrite. #
  • 09:59 Okay, going to ditch the first-person voice for this Almanack story. It obviously wasn't working. Third-person this time. #
  • 10:01 I was reading the story back... halfway through I was telling the narrator to shut up. Almost never a good sign, that! #
  • 11:08 Sod the MWF updates. I'm obviously not productive enough to stick to it yet. Something each week. Then hopefully something more each week. #
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25th March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 07:10 Fuck it. Missed yesterday's update to the Apostate's Almanack. Sorry everybody. Shall make it up to you later today. #
  • 12:04 @Trinora You should have spoken to me! You know I can induce menstruation. It's like Rasputin's ability to stop bleeding in haemophiliacs. #
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24th March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 22:14 Re-reading Zenith Phase III. I've often felt ambivalent about Grant Morrison's work, but this is still great after 21 years. #
  • 22:17 PS: I'm only 32. Started reading 2000AD at the tender age of 6. Like so many of you fine people, I was bitten and infected nice and early. #
  • 22:24 @xeroxkitty Depends on whether or not said vacuum is generated by a dirty-big-slice-you-up-so-small-the-worms-won't-need-to-chew fan. #
  • 02:04 Working on something to submit to Strange Aeons magazine. Quite liking what I've got so far. Don't know if that's a good sign yet. #
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23rd March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 00:07 Delayed ever so slightly, but here it is: bit.ly/cQpBfy A bit of world-building... #
  • 03:17 Quick question to anyone who might be listening: how do you stay organised and focused. I've got no tricks beyond the simple to-do list... #
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22nd March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration


  • 03:42 Time to finish off the next bit of prose. That'll be posted later today. #

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21st March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 00:02 Not watched much TV lately. Almost missed #LizzieAndSarah. May have to adjust my habits slightly. #
  • 00:20 Just watched the #LizzieAndSarah pilot. Haven't laughed so much since Blue Jam. Not just because much of Blue Jam's cast are in it either. #
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20th March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 01:11 Should be getting a new chair, keyboard and mouse tomorrow. Should really wait until I'm in work again, but the hell with it. #
  • 01:14 Of course, now I've said that I'm regretting it already. #
  • 01:15 Okay. The facts: the chair's broken. The CTRL keys don't work. The left mouse button is temperamental. Thorough cleaning did very little. #
  • 14:20 New peripherals plugged in. New chair assembled. Now, am I actually in the mood to be productive...? Nah. #
  • 14:42 Life is like a hot bath: the longer you stay in it, the greater the chances of a close relative bursting in and trying to drown you. #
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19th March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration

  • 22:06 Okay. Shall post new bits of prose M-W-F. Anything beyond that'll be a bonus. #
  • 17:23 Friday. Time for something new. bit.ly/bSmk9M #
  • 17:24 Bah. Need a new keyboard. And a new mouse/trackball. Picked out approximately three pounds of lint from both. Give or take three pounds. #
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18th March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration


  • 22:31 I should try to update the Apostate's Almanack according to a schedule. M-W-F, perhaps? #

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17th March 2010

7:30pm: Today's Twitteration


  • 16:07 Apparently 2010 did not see the note we left 2009 on the way out. #

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